“The animal that I'd love to be reincarnated at is is probably my cat because she is able to do anything that she wants, and I just give her treats all...”

“I don't generally think it's very justified to snoop through anyone's phone. Um, you know, maybe in the case of a cheating spouse, but even then it's ...”

“Coincidental timing. The closest blue object to me is the top of these treats being eaten by this cat. So, in defense, I would pour treats lightly ove...”

“You know, I'd love to say something like a bobcat or even a mountain lion, but I feel people are far too hubristic about how strong they actually are....”

“I think the saddest that I've ever been that a show ended was Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency because that show - it ended way too quickly and...”

“This is a phenomenal question because people don't consider the fact that the Death Star is literally planet-size. So, think about the fact that, like...”

“So if I was on death row and had the last meal, I would like to think I would pick something nice and fancy, but probably something awful for me like ...”

“I've never particularly talked my way out of a ticket, but I, of course, always find if you're extremely polite to the officer, call him 'Sir,' and ju...”

“Well, of course I'd like to believe I was some sort of a noble knight who roamed the, you know, roamed the fields or some cool somebody back in the da...”

“Something that my parents do that drives me crazy is they'll forget to tell me about an event for, like, family that I'm supposed to be at until it se...”