“Oh, obviously aliens are living among us. The rest of the world just hasn't accepted it yet.”

“A weird superstition of mine is that I never pass gas until I'm completely outside the church.”

“Oh , definitely . The Simpsons . I used so many smiley face Emojis . Now that I already feel like a yellow person .”

“When I was younger I wish I would have learned guitar because then this hair would make sense.”

“My golden retriever is the best dog in the world because she sheds so much in a given week that it's like , boom , another dog .”

“Our family is different and wonderful because we will take in any kind of kids, we'll take in foster kids, we'll take take in kids whose houses burne...”