“Alright. Dream job if money wasn't an object - and this is an easy one because I've told my wife this for years - that I would be Forrest Gump, mowing...”

“The Northeast has the best oysters in the country and you definitely can't get that when you're in Texas or Nebraska. So I'm going with the seafood up...”

“Alright. Worst first date story - Actually, it wasn't really a bad date. She wasn't a bad date herself, but, um, the story was pretty bad because we w...”

“Alright. I just won the lottery . Woohoo! First thing I'm gonna go buy more lottery tickets, because obviously I'm a lucky person .”

“Alright, so the weirdest thing in my refrigerator is bunch of wieners. Pretty empty fridge because I just moved into a new place and who doesn't need ...”