“Not gonna lie, if I were to be reincarnated in this hell of an Earth, I would want to be reincarnated as the dumbest, absolutely short-lived animal I ...”

“You always hear that it's justified to snoop through someone's phone. Like, if you suspect them of cheating, I feel like maybe you should communicate ...”

“No lie, the closest blue object near me is - wuh - this straight-up anvil. Not even joking. This is the closest blue thing near me. How would I use it...”

“I don't know if this counts as a wild animal, but I think I could take on, like, a stray dog, maybe - Maybe not too big, maybe not too ferocious, but ...”

“I definitely know this feeling of binge-watching something and you get so into it that you're sad that there is no more episodes. The last time this h...”

“My job on the Death Star would be as a janitor, like, can you imagine how large that thing is, how many people must man it, and how much cleaning that...”

“Now, I know I don't have the assets to be able to talk myself out of every ticket. Uh, that's not real. But I did talk my way out of a ticket once. I ...”

“Who would I like to believe I was? Oh, I'd like to believe I was someone important, but, uh, seeing as there were tens of billions of humans, let alon...”